Novemember 17,2014 – Is a day I will never forget, for the rest of my days. I woke up- and when my boyfriend text me- I instantly gave him an attiude. Since 8am we had been going back and forth- for what? I can’t even recall. Maybe I was upset at him from the day before, however that’s still no excuse. He was planning to come spend the day with me, however the pointless arguing- took up half of the day; and he was still coming. So Of course- me being impacient and just wanting him here- I gave him attitude. Denying that he was coming. Rushing him- with the terrible weather. Just a terrible mood. Well the last time I had spoke to him- without traffic he was 15 minutes away from my house. There was major traffic due to an accident, so that is what was causing the hold up. So about 5 hours go by- with me blowing up his phone, freaking out, and I hear nothing from him. Finally the 6th hour rolls around, and he text me telling me he is on the way to the hospital- because he got in a car accident. Someone hit him from behind, and he thought it was over for him. He was so thankful to be alive.
As he’s telling me this- all I could do was cry- tears of sadness, regret, selfishness, and thankfulness. Just the image that popped in my head, terrified me. The pure thought of him passing, sent chills through my body. This is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with- and to know that he could have been gone forever, horrifies me. Even as I think about it now. I felt regret and selfishness because just to think if those were his last moments here-I would have to live with the fact that I was shitty to him during his last day here. Thankful because god allowed him to still be here, and I have a chance to make right.
That day has forced me to take a greater appreciation for everything, and to stop taking our relationship for granted. I know of people, as I’m sure you do as well- who would do anything just to get a moment with a loved one that’s passed. We never know, when God’s ready for you to leave this Earth. I know we are all human, and relationships are never perfect, but you have to always make it right,don’t hold grudges, and make sure that that person knows you love them.
I thank god daily for the people I love, and regardless of the issues. I don’t ever want to go to sleep mad at anyone. Guilt is a serious weight to carry- and I still have guilt about my baby’s car accident. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. Use my experience as a learning tool.